Limbo.

     I don't know why, but I sort of figured life would start to work its kinks out once I got to college, but now I think life is just creating more kinks for me to smooth. 

     Last week was my 18th birthday. And while my family and friends went to extraordinary lengths to make it a special day, it still felt pretty weird. Last weekend I was horribly homesick. A downside of going to a school right next to one of the most amazing cities in the world is that the students fly to it like moths to a flame on the weekends, leaving campus feeling a bit lonely. I had not planned ahead to make plans with friends, and I longed to be home in the familiar. On the bright side I still had the week of celebration ahead to look forward too. On Tuesday night I went over to my friends apartment and baked cookies with some friends. We baked over 60 cookies for me to share in my wednesday and thursday classes. The simple act of baking made me a little less homesick, and it was nice to bring a piece of home to my new friends. In between batches we stole down to the television common room in the building to watch The Mindy Project and New Girl. To our delight, the room was empty and it was lovely to cozy up and enjoy watching live cable TV. 

    At midnight on September 24th I called my mom, and we had a lovely conversation about how proud she was of me, etc, etc, etc. I went to bed and woke up, an adult? I honestly don't feel any different, but it was exciting all the same. I still had some presents to open and some packages to pick up from the post office. To my surprise and delight, some of my new friends had some little surprises up their sleeves as well. My mom had mailed me one of our traditional cookie cakes to share with my floor, so I invited all the girls on my floor and some of my friends to come over and enjoy it with me. I refused to let them sing happy birthday (it is one of my least favorite things in the world to be sung too), but I had a blast just enjoying everyone's company. 

    This week was a bundle of contradictions. I am supposed to be an adult, but I still call my mom 2-3 times a day, even just for a few minutes while I walk to lunch. I am supposed to be settling in, but this week I was packing up and sleeping on my friends floor. Unfortunately I have had some roommate troubles that are still being resolved, but pretty soon I will be switching rooms for a better situation for all involved. So it was sort of like being in limbo. Between teenager and adult. Homesick or at home. Happy or sad. 

This week I am really looking forward to auditions for the women's shakespeare company, my first production meeting for the halloween show I am helping with props for, and my second adventure into the city to see a play with my Theater Outreach class about The Trail of Tears. Tomorrow is the first meeting of the UU Group on campus, so hopefully I can establish some UU community for myself here. 

     I miss home. I miss my cat, and my bed. I miss midnight nachos and tv marathons with my mom. I miss car ride chats with my dad. I miss the way the lake looks early in the morning, and the way the sun sets over the west side of town. I miss the lurch of my elevator as it stops on my floor. I miss apple cider and having a dishwasher. I miss the familiarity of MHS and my friends there. I miss knowing all the faces when I go to school everyday. I miss home cooked meals, and working at the gelato shop. 

     But I love meals with friends, and laughter over new inside jokes. I am slowly growing to love the long hike up the hill from the dining hall. I love the excitement of getting mail, and buying things like dish soap, which I never bought before. I love doing my own laundry, and not screwing it up. I love creating community in new places. I love the tudor revival buildings, leafy trees and rocks and cliffs that jut out, to make this campus seem like Hogwarts. I love espresso and tea in the Tea Haus, the little coffee shop that looks like Hagrid's hut. I love the feeling of accomplishment when you kick butt in a difficult improv in acting class. 

I miss home. But I love my new home too. 

I am in limbo. And I think I kinda like it. 

Happy Ever After or Happy Right Now?

     A lot has happened over the past week or so. But I will start with today. A morning of homework and gabbing with a friend over lunch in the dining hall, an afternoon of classes and meetings, and then an anxious evening preparing for my first college auditions. (The way the department here does the auditions for the department headed productions is through a big general audition). It was one of those auditions where you really can't tell how you did, and you just want to puke the whole time. I came back to my dorm, curled up in bed with my US History text book to try and distract myself until callbacks are posted....didn't work too well...

    This weekend was lovely. Friday was spent playing catch up with my more "domestic" chores and homework. Saturday was terribly exciting. My friend took me to see my first broadway show for my birthday. We went to see Annie at the Palace Theater in Times Square. Even surrounded by a billion little girls in Annie costumes under the age of 8, I was still giddy. I was transported from the opening lines to the last bows. Then after the show we got a backstage tour with a friend of my friend's family, who was understudying for Daddy Warbucks. On a side note, its a good idea to have something to hold on to when riding the subway, because stumbling into your seat is a perfect way to point out to the other passengers "I am not a New Yorker and I don't know how to ride a train!" Sunday was a blur of sleeping in and homework with a fantastic evening out bumming around Bronxville with my friend Melanie, seeing a movie, getting ice cream and running errands at the local CVS.

     College isn't perfect. The dining hall is getting a bit less appealing as the weeks go on, sharing a community bathroom is actually pretty gross, and walking up and down the massive hill to and from the student center/dining hall is no walk in the park. (I know I am not known for my love of walking, but this hill really is a pain.) Homework isn't bad.....yet.....but I am really excited to start my term papers (called conference work). 

      The monologue I did tonight was all about growing up and trying to hold/let go of your childhood fairy tale daydreams. I have been dreaming of going to college since I was 11, so for me college seems sort of like a fairy tale. Not to mention I am attending one of the most beautiful colleges ever. A mix of modern, colonial houses and tudor revival buildings scattered across a sprawling campus dotted with leafy trees, small (and big) hills and rocky cliffs. But like in my monologue, its not so important that its happy ever after, just that its happy right now. And happy I am. 

PS. My mailbox is still lonely. Only one person has sent me anything that was not coming straight from amazon!! (Thanks Beth!!) 

Monday Mornings

So after a long weekend of stressful scheduling, I finally have my fall schedule worked out. I love it! Only one class on mondays, full day of theater on wednesdays and no classes on fridays! I got "bumped" from a class I really wanted, but found a class in the Art History department that I think I am going to like even better.
I am making new friends each day, and continuing to nourish friendships I am still making. This morning I am headed into Bronxville for the first time with my friend from England (yeah, I know, I would huh?!) to run some errands, grab some Starbucks and gab.
This weekend we celebrated a birthday on Garrison E, and it made me nostalgic for my own parties of old. It will be strange to turn 18 in a few weeks surrounded by people who were only a few weeks ago strangers, instead of livelong friends and classmates. I will not be woken up at 4:58 AM by my parents (the time I was born, the very last time I was ever a morning person), or have my traditional dinner with my grandparents.
The class I am the most excited about is called Theater Outreach. The basic premise is that I will be teaching and bringing theater to different venues and programs in the surrounding area and along with a small team of students will be teaching theater. Very excited for that class to begin on Wednesday.
Not too much else is new, my dorm room is slowly coming together, so my next post will include some pictures.

PS. My mailbox is super lonely. Help! :) If you need my address just let me know.

Best Always- Katrina

She Wasn't Where She Had Been

Good Morning,
So instead of trying to keep everyone updated as much as I would like on the incredible journey I am having here in New York at Sarah Lawrence, I am going to be keeping a blog. I will try to update it as much as possible, but I make no promises.
Before I got here there were the usual nerves about college, but also the fear that maybe I choose the wrong school, or I would not fit in. I have not even been here for a full week, and I have already put those two fears to rest. I made the right choice for me. Sarah Lawrence is not the school for everyone. No two Sarah Lawrence students are alike, but we all share the same thirst for knowledge, passion for our own education and a desire to take the reigns and lead our own college journeys.
One of the great things about living on an all girls floor, is the instant sisterhood we are developing. Already our nights are becoming a pattern of giggling games, shared food and stories. I already feel at home here, maybe more than anywhere else in my life before.
Not to say its all perfect or anything. Registering for classes is a bit of a nightmare, I got slammed with either a bad cold or some heavy allergies on my second night here, living with another person is an adjustment, and its been horribly humid.
But I am all registered and I will find out by tomorrow morning at the latest what my schedule will look like. Health services has looked after me, and I am feeling so much better than a few days ago. My roommate and I are learning each others quirks and preferences, which will make our year a lot smoother. And best of all, its almost fall!

Ten Things I Have Learned about Sarah Lawrence and College in general:
1. Leave your keys and ID in one place every single time in your room.
2. There are much better places to cry on the phone to your mom than the patio next to the student center and the science building. Upperclassmen WILL give you strange looks.
3. Don't wear your SLC lanyard around your neck while you walk around campus, it may be convenient, but it will totally mark you as a First Year.
4. We are not the Freshman here, we are the First Years. (And yes, it is totally like Hogwarts...)
5. Getting a cold your first week is not the end of the world.
6. Pretty much everyone here is from California, New York or New Jersey.
7. Sticky Tack does pretty much nothing to keep things on a wall.
8. When it feels like 100 degrees your first few days, trying to look put together all the time becomes a full time job.
9. Hearing a familiar voice is like getting a hug from home.
10. Late night bonding sessions with your hallmates and your roommate are the best. <3

(10 1/2. Bates Hill after a big meal is pretty much the worst thing ever.)

Thanks for reading!! I hope you enjoy hearing about my collegiate adventures and mishaps, as well as my struggles and triumphs.

Next Post: Pictures and a few words about my dorm room as well as an update on my class schedule.

Lots of love,
Katrina