Signs and Validation

With only a few weeks left to go in my first semester here at Sarah Lawrence (Where did all that time go???) I am busy working on my two conference projects, and all of my other assignments. My Fibromyalgia diagnosis has finally started to sink in properly, and I am learning where to place my limits. I am learning when to push myself and when to resign to a tough day. I am looking forward to the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary special this saturday. A welcome break from studying. And in just a few days I will be on a bus headed back to the place where I left my heart....Cleveland.

I never knew you could love where you were so fiercely, and yet ache so strongly for home. For Buckeye candies and the way Tower City lights up at night. For POP instead of Soda. For snow in October. For the way Lake Erie looks when it is freezing. I am so blessed and happy to be here in New York. I love my school. I get this little rush of happiness when I am crossing the gorgeous campus carrying a ridiculously large stack of books back to my dorm, or when I am rushing to the Performing Arts Center right next door. My heart is divided, and probably always will be, and thats ok with me.

Yet, I still want a sign from the universe, some clear sign that I am making the right choices, that I am meant to be here, that I will find happiness and fulfillment here. Sometimes, the universe works in mysterious ways. Today my Theater Outreach class welcomed a really remarkable New York City director and playwright who specializes in "Docu-Drama" and social outreach types of Theater. I was inspired and engergized. I came out of that class just bubbling over with ideas and thoughts. I had more energy in that moment than I have in weeks. My mom noticed this change too (over the phone I might add!) as did two of my teachers. I explained to them, that this is my normal.This feeling tired, headaches, and pain that I have been battling are not normally so severe. I explained to them that normally I am alive with ideas, engaged and passionate about life. I explained that this is me, because...Ladies and Gentlemen, for today anyway, I got ME back!